My attempt to not give you aids, but to give you laughs..maybe..

One year, I decided to buy my mother-in-law a cemetery pot as a Christmas gift.

The next year, I didn't buy her anything when she asked me why, I replied,

"well, you haven't used your gift I bought you last year!"

And that's how the fight started..
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i asked my wife,

"where do you want to go for our anniversary?"

It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation.

"Somewhere I haven't been to in a long time.."

she said.

So I suggested.

"How about the kitchen?"

And that's when the fight started...
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My wife and I are watching "who wants to be a millionaire" while we were in bed

I turned to her and said, " Do you want to have ***?"

She looked back and replied calmly, "no."

I replied, "Is that your final answer?"

Without any emotion in her voice or any reaction of movement shes said, "yes"

So, I said to that, "then I would like to call a friend!"

That's when the fight started...
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I took my wife to a restaurant.

The waiter, for some reason, took my order first.

"I'll have the rump steak, medium rare, please."

he said, "aren't your afraid about the mad cow?"

"nah," she can order for herself"

and that's when the fight started
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I rear ended a car this morning.. so there we were alongside the road and slowly the other driver got out of his car.

You know how sometimes you just get soooooooo stressed and little things just seem funny?

Yeah well i couldn't believe it.. he was a
DWARF

he stormed over to my car , looked up at me and shouted,

" I AM NOT HAPPY!"

So, I looked down at him and said, "well then, which one are you?"

And then the fight started...